WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO...

What is one to do when the child she has raised to age 25 is refusing to grow up? He's not incapable of it. I've seen him accomplish things he claims he "can't" do. He comes up with all kinds of excuses on why he "can't" do this or that. But the word he is really looking for is "won't" not "can't". 

He lives with me, of course. He has opportunities available to him, but refuses to take them. Says he's been "hurt too many times" to venture out into the world. Meanwhile, this is crippling him and putting a financial strain on me! He tells me to just admit that I've raised a failure. Ok, yep... I coddled him to the point where now he thinks the world owes him a living. My bad! But he's grown now and time for him to take responsibility for himself. He CHOOSES to fail by not trying. He even says, "I'll just go live in Carriagetown then!" Carriagetown is a homeless shelter here in town. When I say, "Go ahead, but don't you think they will also expect you to try to do for yourself?", he says "I just wish I could be 85 years old with one foot in the grave. I pray I don't wake up sometimes." Now, before you get all alarmed that he's suicidal and crying out for help, let me assure you, he is not suicidal. He says those drastic things to try to end the conversation so that he doesn't have to discuss trying to live a decent life anymore. More times than I can count, I've called the ambulance and told them my son is suicidal only to have them release him the next day, with prescription in hand, which he won't take. 

Before you ask, we've already tried to get him to go to counseling... he refuses. He's been on medication... refuses to take that also. He's applying for disability. I believe he is learning disabled, but not physically disabled. Mentally and emotionally disabled, but capable of physical labor. Just simply refusing. 

So I ask again, "what to do, what to do?" What I want to do is push the baby bird out of the nest and force him to survive on his own. The protector and mother in me won't allow me to do that.